I certainly didn't want this kind of guilt trip hanging over me or following me for the next few years. At least I knew enough about Catholics to know what direction to take.I asked Father Roberto if I could make a confession right now, and the look of pleasure on his face was enough to make me want to puke. Self righteous prick was the only term that came to mind.He took out one of those fancy neckpieces out of his pocket and kissed it before slipping it over his head and sitting on the chair beside my bed.I'm not sure what titillating words he thought were going to come out of my mouth, but the minute he declared this was a sacred act, I knew that he could never repeat what I was about to lay on him."Okay," I said. "This is the deal. I admit I was reading that book, so that prevents you from telling Mom or Dad."He started to sputter."I'm not finished," I said. "I've got a history lesson for you. In about ten years the truth about all those orphanages your church ran in the west,. "Look, you boobs are coming in there with us right now!" Meatier Man said, his patience at an end."That's sexual discrimination!" That's inappropriate humor!" AND... it's racial discrimination to deny me my REPARATIONS!"Well, that track didn't work. Captain Canada tried a different angle. "Hey, Buttplug. Are your videotape powers rolling now?" Yeah, Cap'm!" Videotape?" SD-Woman asked."Rolling now?" RD-Man asked."Yeah, Buttplug was born with the marvelous ability to record events and then later commit them to videotape. I want him to film this so that future generations can see us fighting villainy in all our glory." In that case," RD-Man said in his best FM radio voice and posed, hands on hips, "Let us engage the enemy. Onward ho, men!" AND women!" SD-Woman declared with a similar stance.The six senior superheroes marched forward, Meatier Man and Captain Canada distinguished by their slouched walks compared to the bold, forceful strides of the JLA members for the imaginary.
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